Look, maybe it's me. Maybe it's just me that feels like satire needs
to have some sort of balance in music in order to make it worthwhile. Maybe I don't
like Henry Rollins or Frank Zappa (his novelty, anyway), and the press
release claims this music is a cross between those two. Well, lyrically, it
certainly combines the irreverent, unfunny humor of the both of them with
the irritating political leanings of... both of them, really, but more
Rollins, I suppose.
Anyway, Colon is a really long, unpleasant album, with really obvious
"satirical" attacks at Christians and lawyers and how they probably have
small penises. The instrumentation is almost entirely made of MIDI
sequencing, but not in a cute or charming way—rather, in the irritating
way that MIDI can sound when it is an attempted substitute for professional
production. It's like the aural equivalent of a really bombastically
annoying cartoon. And the album is highlighted with a song called
"Songwriting" about how most people can't write music. Clearly he feels as
if he is exempt. Even if the rest of the songs were worth a dime, I'd still
call him an asshole for that one. And okay, he probably wants to come off
like an asshole, and I guess in that way it's successful. And okay, in
truth, it's only 50 minutes, but it feels like 100%, in a bad way.
Maybe I'm not conveying why I hate this well enough. Maybe it's just me.
Look, I'll put it this way: this album is holier-than-thou bullshit that
would be better as a stand-up comedy album, and it would still suck.
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