Tied & Tickled Trio - Electric Avenue Tapes
(Clearspot)

The Scenario

Hamburg's Electric Avenue Studio

In the immortal words of world and pop music legend Eddy Grant, "We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue, and then we'll take it higher." After two albums pitting the forces of a jazz-trained saxophonist and a German electronic rock band, the battle of supremacy within the Tied & Tickled Trio all comes down to this, the third and deciding match between the powers of Charlie Parker and the powers of Can.

If memory serves me, the first battle between these two superpowers (AKA Tied & Tickled's self-titled debut album) featured several dramatic turns in momentum. The electronic grooves created by Can dominated much of the match, but when Parker got a few good blows in, he caused some serious damage to the power of Can's groove. It was like Can could not continue to fight while Parker wailed and wailed on his sax, the rock band totally taking a break in awe of Parker's power. In the end, though, Can was able to regain momentum and finish Parker off with a dirty funk groove over layers of electronic texture.

When the rematch was scheduled (AKA Tied & Tickled's second album, Ea1 Ea2), the prognosticators hardly gave Parker a chance. To everyone's surprise, though, Parker dominated the match from start to finish. The match was like a mixup from the old days of jazz wrestling, smooth moves were emphasized over dirty groove tricks, creating a cool jazz event that was much better fitted to Parker's sax explorations. It was like Can didn't even have a chance once Parker set the tone early on with a few meditative solos. Much like the first match, once the saxophone started to wail, the groove band had a hard time getting its head back in the match.

The third match between these two behemoths is destined to be the bloodiest and nastiest of them all, a true match for the ages.

Can vs. Charlie Parker III

STEVE: Can doesn't stand a chance here. Charlie Parker learned a lot in the second match between these two titans--he knows how to dominate the tone of a match and keep Can out of their gameplan.

JOHNNY: I disagree totally. Can was demoralized by the last match with Parker. However, they left that match not defeated but rather determined to regain their form which let them control much of the first match. There is no way Can will quit; they will definitely use the last match as motivation in this one.

JOHNNY: Wow, Steve, Can is really taking control of this match early. I knew they were determined, but they have come out stronger than they were even in Match I. The band is using a post rock groove from piano and keyboards and backing that with soft, percolating electronic percussion and a persistent drum beat.

STEVE: I am surprised, too, Johnny. While these blows by Can are relatively weak--I don't think they are doing much damage to Charlier Parker--they definitely are persistent enough that Parker has no room to break in and gain control. The flow of the groove is totally controlling the match at this point.

JOHNNY: Oh no, Can has finally pulled out the bass guitar. To think they have controlled the whole first half of this round without resorting to the bass. There's no way Parker can retaliate against this attack. Can is combining a quiet but funky bass groove with a whipping sound from the electronics; Parker doesn't have a chance.

STEVE: Not so fast Johnny!! Parker has finally found enough room inbetween bursts from the electronics, and even at the late stages of this round he is doing some serious damage with his sax. He is sounding really free with it, flowing through concrete melodies but embellishing them with odd twists and tweaks.

JOHNNY: But Can has not lost a step. Parker's attacks are strong, but, unlike the second bout between these two fighters, Can is keeping pace with Parker. The bass and drums are just as strong and groovy as they were before Parker gained control, and some whirling sounds are being added from the electronics, totally changing the mood of the match.

STEVE: Parker took a lot of shots in the first round, but he doesn't seem to be phased by it in this round. He is really going off with his saxophone, mixing easy melodies with more explorative, hard-hitting tangents.

JOHNNY: Parker is doing a lot of damage.... Oh, another trill and skronk to Can, that has got to hurt... Can is getting hurt quite a bit in this round, but they are faring much better than they did in the first match. They made the right choice to use a standup bass against Parker to fit the sound of sax better, making it easier to keep the groove going while stillo fitting with Parker's sound.

STEVE: Isn't that cheating, though, Johnny?

JOHNNY: Not really, Steve. Can is creating the same sorts of patterns and grooves they usually do, they're just doing a much better job of making them sound like something that better fits the moves that Parker is doing. If Can did what they used to do, Parker's power would completely mute them; here, at least they are able to keep up, waiting for the next chance they'll have to take over momentum and showcase another groove.

STEVE: Well this round is starting off quiet. I don't think either competitor has much left in them. Can is letting off some soft, twinkling blows that don't seem to affect Parker much.

JOHNNY: Yes, Can's drummer really seems to be taking a break here. I feel that once he gets back into the match, things might go Can's way as Parker gave all he had to give in the last round... Yes, Can is picking up the pace now, using a repetitive stuttering beat along with an electronic melody.

STEVE: Can's attacks are so brutal, I could almost start dancing!

JOHNNY: Indeed. What Can is doing here is very simple but also very direct. It's a simple eletronic groove, but it is, indeed, hard to resist. They're building on it now, changing the tempo and making it a bit more menacing. Parker may be done, Steve. Yes, the drummer's really hitting hard and loud now. This could be it for Charlie Parker!

STEVE: This round is once again starting off quiet; Parker is controlling these early stages but he is keeping his melodies light. Can retaliates with some very sturdy drumwork, but Parker is clearly in control here--although neither is causing much damage.

JOHNNY: Wait, the bass player of Can has started to play a dirty funk groove with a very elastic sound. Wow, this groove is causing massive damage to Parker; he may not be able to continue.

STEVE: Don't count Parker out. He has started to match Can's bassist, intertwining his soft melodies with the bassist's dirty grooves.

JOHNNY: The bassist is clearly in control, though. Yes, and the rest of Can has joined him, creating a very textured, massive sound. Parker cannot retaliate and has fell silent. Can has electronically altered the sound of their drums to match the power of the elastic bass sound, and it is causing a lot of damage. Parker may be done.

STEVE: Not so fast! Parker realizes this is the last round of the match, and he has saved his energy for these last moments. He once again seems to be in control, and he is really taking it to Can with strong bursts of trilling sounds. ... Can will not give up either though. They are coming back with that same massive sound they displayed earlier in the round, matching blow for blow with the trill from Parker's saxophone... This is quite a violent exchange! I have never seen two battlers exchange such wicked blows for so long without either one losing a step!

STEVE: Well, the judge's have turned in their decision, and it indeed was very close, as both competitors really gave it their all tonight.

JOHNNY: It was a fantastic bout, Steve. I don't think I have heard Parker hit that hard, but then Can was able to keep up with Parker's attacks at all times--something they weren't able to do at all in the first two matches. Parker's blows were much stronger than Can's, but Can dominated much more of the match; it was a very close match and a hard decision for the judges.

STEVE: We're being handed the decision now. Oh my god... yes, yes... let me verify, yes, we have a DRAW. I cannot believe it.

JOHNNY: This was the closest match between Parker and Can, and, therefore, also the most enjoyable. It seems fitting that this was a draw. We will just have to count the days to the next rematch between these two great fighters!

This review is a parody and tribute to the website Grudge Match, which has been on the web for as long as I can remember, long outdating MTV's weak ripoff, Celebrity Deathmatch. Some of the images here are stolen from that page, including the Grudge Match logo. Please visit www.grudge-match.com when you are tired of reading about music.

jim steed 2001 jul 20