Jungle - Long Time, No See
(Scratch)
This is just plain inept. I had figured that it would be bad, given the number of
typographical errors and rock n’ roll party-isms contained on the promo sheet
(which informs us, under the heading "selling points" that "bassist Stephen Hamm
was in a historically important band called Slow," which must have been why the
other three young bucks in the band let a husky old dude with an ELO afro in the
band). But I didn’t really realize just how bad it would be. During the first track
I was actually entertaining the idea that this is actually some kind of high
concept art prank, because it's really that bad.
If someone where to say to you, "basic upbeat mid tempo four on the floor high
school teacher white guy rock," and you would respond with, "Yeah, how come
there aren’t more bands like that?" then this is for you. However, if you have
ever actually heard any kind of music before, than you know that this is crap.
Fortunately, the label provides the lame, half-assed critic-speak comparisons
for me, so I don’t even have to strain myself trying to figure out who they
sound like: old, weak ass Kiss and April Wine. But not as good as either of those. (?!)
The best "selling point" is that this record was engineered by Dave Ogilvie, formerly
of Skinny Puppy, and Keith Stein, who worked his magic on Loverboy. What exactly Ogilvie
brought to this, I am not sure, but I hope that he was at least paid well. As for Stein,
well, they obviously did not pay as well as Loverboy, as this record sounds like a second
generation cassette dub.
I’ve tried really hard to try and find one good thing to say about this record and this
is it: features the deftest use of cowbell this side of Blue Oyster Cult.
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