|
Fall is a wonderful time to be a loser. No, it's not the dopey fall activities
like going to see the leaves fall or raking all those goddam leaves back up
again that make being a loser so great at this time of the year. It's baseball.
Yeah, baseball is the only sport that celebrates the loser. The World Series
is entering its last two games with the underdog up, but no one really seems
to care. Why, because the perennial losers already lost.
How fitting that one of those celebrated losers, the Chicago Cubs, tried to
pin their losing on
some Joe Average loser that just happened to be in the way at a crucial time.
Sitting alone, listening to the game on headphones, he reached up for a foul
ball that may or may not have been out of the reach of charging outfielder
Moises Alou. You can tell this guy has already suffered enough in his life
just from looking at him, but if you also take into account his name, you
really have to pitty him. 26 years old and named Steve Bartman means that
he had to be about 13 when The Simpsons introduced the "Bartman" action figure
and dance.
"Hey Bartman, do the Bartman, Bartman." Yeah, that guy had it rough. You can
almost see it in his eyes, past the glare from his prominent eyeglasses.
But losers have a way of sticking together. Sure the Cubs fans will give
Bartman a rough time for a while, but in the end they'll realize they are
all losers for they are all Cub fans, and that is the source of their pride.
It turns out its easy to get lucky, like the Marlins this year.
It's much harder to be terminally unlucky. So while losers are quick to
belittle their most famous of losing brethren, they are also quick to come
to their senses and celebrate what makes losing so great.
A great example of that is the so-called
Star Wars Kid, some teenager in
Quebec that recorded himself imitating Darth Maul's two-bladed light saber
assault and accidently became the toast of the internet, following other
internet losers who got their 15 minutes of fame, like "That Turkish Ladies'
Man" or "That Cat Who Looked At The Eminem Auction" or "Steve Jobs."
Of course, that kid was so embarassed, he not only probably never went to
school again, he also sued his (ex-)classmates who digitized and distributed
the video to the tune of $160,000 (although, keep in mind that is Canadian
dollars and equates to about 50 bucks US). However, even before the lawsuit
came out, all the other losers of the worldthose with so little of a life
that they actually keep track of the latest internet fadsstarted to
stick up for the Star Wars Kid. A collection was made, and the Star Wars
Kid was given a brand new I-Pod (someone tell Steve Jobs). Also, a petition was
started to get Star Wars Kid in the final prequel, and he likely will be
starring in place of Joey Fatome with Justin, J.C., and the rest of *NSYNC.
I guess the bottomline is that few of us actually are non-losers for any
significant amount of time. Back when these baseball curses started, there
were only 3 teams: the Yankees, the Red Soxes, and the Cubs, so it was pretty
easy for the losers to start their streaks. I mean, when the Yank's bought
Babe Ruth for $100,000, you have to realize that the guy that replaced him
in the Red Sox lineup was the tenor from the Broadway show that money went
towards funding. When so few of us have any chance of actually winning,
there's no shame in losing.
If you have any comments about the site, please send us an email or stop by our message board. Look for our next issue on December 5th. Thanks for your prompt and efficient service.
| | |
previous issues: 0, 1, 2, 3, cu, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10,
11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20,
wl, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30,
31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39,
40, 41
|
|
|