Back in the 70s, there were a lot of pop groups that almost kissed. There was Fleetwood Mac which was comprised of standard dual-sexed couples that almost but never actually did kiss. There was also ABBA, who sometimes kissed, but due to their fair-haired Scandanavian origins, you were never really sure if the people kissing were breeding couples or the more effective lesbian couples, or something else altogether.

Fast forward to the 80s and you get Milli Vanilli. I'm pretty sure Milli Vanilli were gay and I'm pretty sure they kissed, but they were male and they never kissed in public. After waiting through three albums with not even a peck, people lost interest, and both Milli and Vanilli retired in the South of France with Terence Trent D'Arby.

The 90s were a virtual deadzone for both gay groups and almost kissing, other than Color Me Badd , who kissed on stage from the get-go, leading to their short, inconsequential career.

Which leads us to the 00s, which is really the future of music and almost kissing. Finally the formula has been perfected. Get one teenage girl who looks like Rachel Leigh Cook in "She's All That" before Freddie Prinze, Jr. gives her a makeover. Get another girl who looks like Claire from "Six Feet Under." Have them pretend to be lesbians and fake almost kissing on stage. People will wait for YEARS to see them kiss, that is until they reach about 23 and are then so old that you don't really care if they kiss or not. By that time they will probably be married to David Beckham anyway.

Whether having fake lesbians almost kiss will change music is still left to be seen. While I won't argue that this is the penultimate in pop music, there are still a lot of other oppressed minority groups we can make fun of by asking hott teenagers to pretend to be part of them. Maybe we could get some Asian kids to pretend to be Native American and have them sing about how great nature is. And then almost kiss. Maybe we could get some hott teenagers to dye their hair white and wear pink contacts and sing songs about how dangerous overexposure to sunlight is and how you should always wear sunscreen. And then almost kiss. There really is a lot of potential for future musics.

If you have any comments about the site, please send us an email or stop by our message board. Look for our next issue on July 11th. Thanks for making out in public (if you are a lesbian).