Well, hold on there a second. As a resident of suburban Philadelphia, I am here to say that PA is at least twice as hot as LA (at least in the summer months, this isn't exactly the Farmer's Almanac). For instance, I can tell you for positive that on the block I live in there are at least two bona fide celebrities: Maurice Cheeks and that kid who played Sam Jackson's son in Changing Lanes. And that is just on one block in middle of nowhere Pennsylvania! (Well, Mo Cheeks doesn't live in that house, per se, but I think he owns it. Or at least that's what I read on some official looking piece of paper.)

Take that LA! You might be able to hang out with Corey, and then run into Corey at the 7-11 while you share a Slurpee with AMH, but I get to narrowly avoid running over obscure child actors while he skateboards outside my house. But, wait, I am not just talking about the elite folks who happen to live (or presumably live) on my block. There's also that Justin Guarini guy on American Idol. (The one with the afro that does a Tom Jones impression.) He is from Doylestown, man! Another example of an A-list celebrity that lives within a short drive from my front door, or rather from my garage, if you want to be precise. We totally used to frequent the same karaoke bar (by "frequent" I mean drove past, or at least in general know where it is).

What Justin would look like if he was an international megarocker

And that's not even mentioning Philly's favorite son, M. Night Spielberg, whose latest movie Signs is about a super-cuddly, wise-cracking space alien who moves in with a Philly family and makes one-liners while endless trying to snack on the family cat. At least that's what I think that movie was supposed to be about; to tell you the truth, the movie is still sold out here (since it is so Phillytastic), so I had to buy advance tickets and the earliest they had was next February.

Oh wait, did I mention that Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, and Ben Affleck's toupee are currently filming a movie here? Yeah, they totally are, and you can totally go over to the set and hang out with J-Lo and ask her about how she likes to pretend she is a maid when she has sex with Ben. That's right LA, the whole entire J-Lo and Ben love affair, from beginning to bitter, all-pub-is-good-pub end is happening right here in PA. 100 years from now when children are reading about the two thousands in their history books, when they get to the chapter about J-Lo and Ben Affleck's love affair, they will know that all the hottest celebs lived in Pennsylvania, not California. For reals.

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