Daron Gardner: Hi everyone. It looks like I will be taking over as host for THE LIST this year. I think our list of records this year is a pretty good one. There are a few obviously great records missing that I can only assume you didn't pick because you knew I wouldn't let them be forgotten – thus leaving you open to pick some other fine records. So let's get that all out of the way (oh, and I forgive you). Lungfish – Feral Hymns is quite possibly the best Lungfish record... and easily their best in a few years, which is saying a lot given how great Love Is Love is. If you missed out on this record, you have missed out on what I think is easily the record of the year. The other forgotten record is of course Bonny `Prince' Billy & Matt Sweeney's Superwolf. While it might not be quite as perfect as Master And Everyone, it is easily the 2nd best record of the year, and I actually listened to it more than any other record this year. It is a very poignant and intimate record, and one that deserves to be listed in the best of the year. Okay, so with those few additions/corrections, I open up THE LIST to eliminations and discussion. Lets get this shit going.
JIM STEED'S ELIMINATION
Jim: If I wanted to listen to the Fairport Convention, I am pretty sure I would just listen to the Fairport Convention and not put on Feathers. And, really, in most cases, I wouldn't be too into listening to the Fairport Convention. So while I admire the skill and musicianship behind the Feathers LP, I think it should be taken off THE LIST. I was only able to listen to it once, and really, if we're going to appease the Renaissance Faire crowd by putting up a prissy folk record, I'd much rather the Marissa Nadler album be nominated instead.
Dick: I agree that if you want to listen to Fairport Convention, then you should just listen to Fairport Convention. Lumping this in with them and Marissa Nadler is obviously not an outlandish claim, but it makes me think you didn't listen too carefully. Try listening to it more than once.
Jim: I did listen to two songs again this morning to make sure I was not totally off base by saying it sounded like the Fairport Convention. And it sounded exactly like the fucking Fairport Convention. It was even more similar to the Fairport Convention than I remembered. Don't make me do a candy-bar lineup for you - Invisible Jukebox-style - between the two. You will fail. Next.
Steve: Feathers sounds *exactly* like Fairport Convention if only:
1. Fairport Convention spent more time inebriated in the hash bar than the cash bar.
2. Fairport Convention had a penchant for woozy vocal harmonies and blurred psychedelic fuzz guitar backgrounds and chirping birds instead of their relatively crisp arrangements.
3. Fairport Convention had David Tibet, Marc Bolan or one of their acolytes as one of their singers or at least decided to adopt a more nasal intonation.
4. Fairport Convention did not execute their shifts in dynamics with the same assurance that they do.
So yea, I see the connection/affinity, but exactly like Fairport Convention? I think not. For the record, why all the hate on Fairport Convention? Is it due to the "revival" thing? Is updating an ancient musical form now all of a sudden a taboo genre for FJ? I guess we cannot review any more Sharron Kraus albums. What a pity.
As for the Marissa Nadler comparison... Marissa is definitely prissy, but I've listened to the Feathers stuff a few times recently and although they are certainly fey, I wouldn't put them in the same bucket as I would the far more static Nadler. I'd be more likely to lump them in with Devendra's fweep than Nadler's brand of stiff formalism.
By the way, if half of the music played at Renaissance Faires was as well-executed and composed as the Feathers album is, I might even brave the SCA types to check it out once in a while.
Daron: Jim and I watch a lot of TV together. Specifically, we watch the TV show "Freddie" a lot, and if there is one thing I have learned about Jim after all these years, it is that he really knows what he is talking about when it comes to entertainment. He knows when something Freddie says or does is funny, and he rewards Freddy with a pleasant, if not slightly reserved laugh. And, when Freddie isn't on his game, Jim knows that too, and responds in kind. So while I totally disagree that Feathers sound exactly like Fairport Convention, the fact that he even chose this record out of the bunch makes me comfortable sticking by his elimination. The Feathers' LP is removed from THE LIST.
DICK BALDWIN'S ELIMINATION
Dick: I'll get rid of Antony & the Johnsons - I am a Bird Now. One time, I tried to listen to this, and after I got through the first song I remembered that I'd chosen to put it on and could just as easily turn it off. So I did. I could listen to the whole thing before eliminating it, but I'd really rather not have to.
Jim: Interesting turn given your response to my valid criticisms of Feathers. I don't think you should listen to it again - if you don't like the first song, you won't like any of it. It just outs you as a tough guy. Let me guess, you were too much of "a man" to see Brokeback Mountain? Instead you saw King Kong twice? Sounds about right.
Dick: That's right. I'm tuff as shit. King Kong's a fucking pussy. I'd dance Swan Lake on his fucking grave.
Daron: Based on Dick's indepth research into the album, I am going to have to let this elimination stand.
Jim: I am pretty sure both of you are going to get your asses kicked by some drama club kids now.
Daron: Bring 'em on! I can out cry them, and out punch those bitches.
STEVE RYBICKI'S ELIMINATION
Steve: I liked VCO's Tuning to the Rooster and consider it one of the better *reissues* of 2005. But is lengthening pieces from their original releases and throwing them together enough to make it "LIST-worthy"? Not to me it isn't. Add to that my disappointment that the normally prolific VCO hasn't released anything this year featuring the new "Bowered" lineup outside of extremely limited editions of mostly live recordings where you can just as easily hear bar orders as you can the music, and this Rooster's got elimination stamped on his forehead.
Daron: No one really fought for this, so I will let the elimination stand. VCO's Turning to the Rooster is removed from THE LIST.
ADAM STROHM'S ELIMINATION
Adam: I hereby eliminate the New Pornographers. Sure Twin Cinema's got some solid power pop songcraft on that album, but it's surely not top three material, if for "Three or Four" alone, which grates on me. Don't get me wrong, there are some songs I like, and some are as catchy as hell, but I can't let the disc stay on THE LIST, it just doesn't belong. I'm sure I'll be vilified for this choice, but I have a lot of trouble thinking of this disc as one of the year's best. It's not insipid, and does have some good qualities, but overall, leaves me pretty cold.
Andy: Wow, I'm actually going to not argue against this...the fact that not only is Adam well versed enough in Twin Cinema to namecheck a song, but that he listened to a pop album made after 1979 at all is reason enough just let it go. Like they say, if you love something, let it go and if it returns to you, then you are A Wizard of The First Degree (an unreleased Todd Rundgren album). Well, by letting this go, I have shown that I am the bigger man, not literally because I am only 5'5" and Adam is 5'9" or so, but synecdochially, in that part of me is bigger than Adam, if you catch my drift: my brain because I am the alpha and the omega. In other words, good choice, Adam; I shall not contest your elimination, even though you're obviously wrong and probably haven't listened to the album more than twice.
Adam: Andy makes good points. I rest my case.
Daron: Adam's elimination stands, and New Pornographers is removed from THE LIST.
ANDY BECKERMAN'S ELIMINATION
Andy: Time to rip an elimination a new asshole. And what will come out of that hole and into the garbage bin of music history? Why Smog's shitty album. Now, to be fair, I only listened to it twice, but those two times were enough for me to think that this was boring and not only boring, but also boring. It reminded me of many times I have beeen bored. But wait there's more! No, there isn't. Get rid of this album and let me go die in peace. Peace out, shittits.
Jim: Total nonsense elimination. Best Smog album since Red Apple Falls. Are you saying there's something wrong with Smog or something wrong with you for not liking Smog?
Andy: What I'm now going to say is that anyone that likes any Smog album at all is a piece of shit. I was earlier going to just say that I simply didn't enjoy the new album, but thanks to your words, I now think that all lovers of anything that dude has ever done are horrible and ethically deficient. I think you now owe a debt to society.
Jim: Oh snap! Ohhh snap! I think he is calling you out directly, Daron!
Steve: Andy, A River... has it all - understated musings on everything from divinity to pornography, immaculate pacing, and Callahan's brilliant delivery. You need to check the exhaust system on your tour vehicle for leaks, because either you are suffering from CO poisoning or there's a fine dusting of spray paint shimmering on the edge of your nostrils. Talk about ethically deficient; huffing and posting is on a par with drinking and dialing. Not only is this elimination way off base, it's not even in the ballpark.
Andy: It has been said that the reason a puff of opium will cause one to grow tired and lethargic is due to the opium's sleep-producing powers....in much the same way does the new Smog album have these powers. Inherent in its existence is a boredom so all-encompassing, so complete, that the very essence of the album is that of total tedium. If there is a fault in any of this, do not locate it in me, like some Lockean fiend, but rather in the album itself. And you're right, it's not in the ballpark because I just hit a homerun, numbnutz.
Steve: OK sizzle chest, point taken; I was merely responding in kind to your own employment of ad hominem arguments. Of course, you're still wrong about Smog.
Daron: Sorry, Andy, I have to agree with everyone here, Smog's A River.... is not only one of Smog's best records, but it isn't even slightly boring. I realize that you mostly listen to music while playing Dance Dance Revolution, but just because it drags down your game isn't a good enough reason to kick it off. Please choose again.
Andy: Can I choose to replace you as the leader of this shambolic mess because obviously you're not in full control of your faculties? Or as Sartre said, can I choose to not choose, for even not choosing is a choice, and if I wasn't choosing, Smog would still be ejected from this horseshit sham of a LIST due to the fact that it is about as interesting as a paper bag filled with smaller paper bags which inside them contain not even smaller paper bags but instead pieces of paper with Staind lyrics written on them. Staind is that one band that eats its own feces on stage right? Maybe that *is* interesting.
Well, I can't remember what's on THE LIST anymore, so just take off something Adam put on that isn't Hair Police. I am feeling vindictive, but not that vindictive.
Adam: Andy can remove Hair Police if he likes, though I doubt he's heard that record. Don't let him remove Matthew Welch, though, he knows not what he does.
Andy: I dug the Hair Police album as well as the Zs one, and since I never heard Welch, I'm not going to knock it off. I think then that I will remove The Sunlandic Twins. I thought Satanic Panic in the Attic was an incredible pop album, but it was followed up with this enjoyable, yet lackluster affair. The album starts out nicely enough, but by the end it kind of peters out. Was it too soon for a new album? Was it that I had unreal expectations after Satanic Panic...? While I really enjoy The Sunlandic Twins, I don't think it's as innovative nor as interesting as the preceeding album, and therefore not LIST-worthy. And now, thanks to Adam's poor New Pornographers choice, almost all the great pop has been removed. Enjoy your heartless world, you pricks.
Dick: I had reason to suspect this in the past, but your comment has confirmed it. Andy, you have bad taste in music and couldn't spot a good pop song if it fucked you in the eye.
Andy: Now you're going to get it, shitface. Not only have I been skullfucked by pop before, but I wrote the fucking book on spotting pop songs. The two-breasted warbler? Discovered it. The red-ranged torbling. I created that piece of horseshit at Monsanto's laboratory. Flengrove and the Feathered Skywhinge? I made that one up just now, but you get the point. You want to tell me I have bad taste in music? I'm going to fuck your shit up, bitch. Just kidding! I like you, Dick, but you have no one to blame for picking The Sunlandic Twins but yourself. Don't take out your feelings of guilt and angst on me for pointing out what you already knew. The first step on the road to acceptance is accepting that you were wrong. Take that step and be free. Just like Flengrove.
Dick: Funny. Also, wrong. I'm proud to have nominated The Sunlandic Twins. It beats out Satanic Panic in the Attic and every album released last year, no sweat.
Daron: Well, I guess Jesus isn't even going to try and stop this from being removed, so your elimination stands.
Andy: Who is Jestus?
Jim: I think he fought with Captain Moroni against the Native Americans.
Daron: That's it for THE LIST this year. Here are the final nominees for the reader poll:
