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I don't know about you, but I just haven't been able to think, let alone work, for the past week because of all the excitement generated by the new season of Big Brother. The show's annual season of secrets has totally topped itself this year with even more secretiveness and secretions. We're not talking about one measly pair of people being related - everyone is part of pair. Although I guess this year they know ahead of time what the relationships are, where as last year, Cowboy and Nakomis had no idea they were each other's long lost siblings until after they started doing it on the confessional couch. Big Brother will reveal on tomorrow's episode who the teams are, but those who have been paying attention might be able to guess who is playing with whom.

The first obvious team is Kaysar (aka Sayid from "Lost," aka dead meat for being too Muslim) and Michael (possibly the only decent looking dude on the show this year). First of all, both of these guys are from LA and neither of them picked a favorite sports team in the survey featured on the website. I find it hard to believe they found two dudes who don't like sports, let alone two dudes from the same area who don't like sports. To make it more obvious though, on episode 1, Michael approached Kaysar in private and gave him unsolicited advice on how to handle a house full of godless people. Also, the team has joined together with Eric and James to form Four Horseman 2: Electric Boogaloo, so there's a pretty good likelihood that Kaysar and Michael are indeed a team.

The second obvious team is Howie and the current HOH Rachel. It's pretty obvious they're brother and sister, just from looks. Also both claim ties to Denver. Add to that, during the HOH competition, they were the last two on the surf board, and Howie pretty easily jumped off to give Rachel the early power. Plus, when interviewed about Howie's bizarre antics, like putting on bras and hitting on Beau, Rachel just said "That's Howie being Howie" - leading to the obvious inference that she knows Howie well enough to know he's cross dressed outside the house and that's not just an act because cross dressing makes his manly muscles seem less intimidating.

After the two obvious teams, it's more of a guess, although I think I may have been able to narrow it down. James and Sarah look like they're related. Maybe after that's revealed tomorrow, Daron will stop IM'ing me about how much he is in love with Sarah - I think finding out James is her brother will totally break his heart considering how lame he thinks James is for lying about being a high school philosophy teacher. Eric and Maggie could also be related, or they could be a couple. Both have Boston and Vegas ties, and both are in the emergency response field - Maggie being an ER nurse and Eric being a fireman. It calls to question Eric's ties to the Four Horseman, especially considering he pretty much started it and how golden he said his word is, but it's possible. That'd make it more likely that they are friends or siblings though, cause it's much more likely he'd screw his sister than screw his wife.

I don't really see a possible blood relationship between any of the other six, but one can still guess who is teamed with who. Jennifer and April are the only two Texas people, plus they are about the same age and slutiness. Beau and Ivette are the token gay people and the token minorities (aside from Kaysar), plus they are both from Miami. Perhaps it's offensive and short sighted for me to think the gays are in it together, but after I eliminated all the obvious matches, it seemed more plausible than the other scenarios. That would make Ashlea and Janelle the last team. They are from the same town, but aside from that I don't have much to go on. I was watching House Calls: The Big Brother Talk Show earlier this week and Marcellas mentioned that Ashlea's teammate was spending too much time hitting on the boys, but I didn't hear who it might be. That does narrow it down considerably, though.

Man, I can't wait to find out tomorrow who the teams are and to see who is eliminated. Knowing my luck, they'll reveal that Kaysar and Beau are a team, and then a black hole will open up beside the newly discovered secret golden bedroom, and suck the whole world into oblivion. Or maybe just create an alternate universe where you can see what anyone is doing on TV anytime you want, instead of just 14 sexy actor-types in California.

Big Brother at Amazon