Cats (Felis silvestris)
Cats are really shitty pets sometimes, you know? Now dogs, dogs are pretty cool. They actually like you. You can teach them their names and get some sort of response out of them. It's hard not to love a dog when it's looking at you with it's big wet eyes. But cats, fuck 'em. They want you to satisfy their needs and when they aren't needy, they're like "fuck you". They won't play with you unless they want to, and they never want to. They sit outside your door and whine all night if you don't let them in, then if you let them in they will crawl around you and make you pet them even if you're busy doing something else, like updating your fantasy NASCAR team. They poop on the bathroom rug even though they have a litterbox nearby that they are perfectly capable of. I mean, what the fuck? Are you crazy, or do you just not care anymore? And if your bedroom door doesn't shut properly, they'll force their way in over and over and annoy you while you're trying to do something else, like alphabetize your DVDs by director. They just can't take a hint.
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tom eigen at 09:27 PM April 03, 2005
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Get a blog, shithead!
Posted by: andy beckerman ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.fakejazz.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at April 4, 2005 05:01 AM
Tom, I like dogs too, but the vitrol you direct at cats is simply wrong. The cat's so smart that it wants to help you sort your cds, perhaps trying to tell you that, perhaps, a chronological system might be more worthwhile. As for a cat interrupting the fantasy NASCAR housekeeping, I think it's you that can't take the hint and not the cat.
Just be glad none of your housemates own a little monkey in a diaper. Now that would suck.
Posted by: adamstrohm at April 4, 2005 09:01 AM
your assessment on cats is a little off. listen to the cat - it *knows* what you really want to do. quit fighting it and give in.
Posted by: cory rayborn at April 5, 2005 02:12 PM
You're wrong about dogs. Dogs don't want to "play with you." They want you to throw the ball so they can run and get the ball and bring it back to you so that you can throw it again. Give a dog an automated tennis ball machine, and they could do without the human race. Cats at least are honest. They aren't genetically ingrained to do certain tasks. A burst of playful activity or the need for petting and nurturing is more closely related to familial bonds instead of a master-slave relationship. If they don't want to play or they poop on your rug, maybe you should be more introspective and think, "How are my actions causing the cat to be unhappy?"
Posted by: jim steed at April 5, 2005 03:31 PM
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