Season 1, Quarterfinal 1
According to MTV, the idea behind their new show "The Wade Robson Project" is:
Super-choreographer Wade Robson has masterminded moves for Britney Spears and *NSYNC. Now his sights are set on finding the best amateur dancer in America—who will moonwalk away with $100,000 from Juice Batteries, a $10,000 wardrobe provided by Union Bay and the dance opportunity of a lifetime. Strap on your dance belt and, starting September 1 at 4:00 p.m., get ready for some high-voltage dance competition action, Wade Robson-style.
We think that sucks. Instead of finding some dancer who isn't hot enough to be a pop star and giving them $100,000, we'd rather find a great band and give them nothing. Well, maybe we'll just immortalize them in our pseudo-hall of fame. Since we're totally unoriginal, we'll just use the same rules Wade is using:
- Round 1: The audience votes for the dancer whose style they are NOT feeling. The dancer with the most votes is eliminated.
- Round 2: Two celebrity judges select one of the three remaining contestants to continue.
- Round 3: Wade makes the final decision after a rigorous choreography training session and dance off.
Round 1: AUDIENCE VOTE-OFF!!!!!
At the end of Round 1, 31 Knots is eliminated by the audience!
Round 2: CELEBRITY JUDGES!!!!
You may know our first celebrity judge from his band Yume Bitsu who won THE LIST in 2002 with their album The Golden Vessyl of Sound or for his new solo album [[[VVRSSNN]]] that just dropped on June 3rd, let's all give it up for ADAM FORKNER!!!!!!!!!!
Adam, which finalist do you think should move on to Round 3?
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I'm feeling the funky Hair Police. It's got a nice groove
and a fresh feeling. Like, style and stuff. It's like, raw and stuff.
I'm FEELING it.
Jennifer Gentle? I mean what kind of name is that?
It's like blooooooop stuuuuuuuufff, weeeeeak I'm NOT FEELING IT. For me
it's like their moves are just plain WACK. I'm jus' sayin; you know?
Are you feeling me? Cause I aint feelin' them. That's all I'm sayin'. Oh
wait hol' up... no it's like: "Hey look at us we're Weird! We have a cow
bell!" WACK WACK WACK WACK I AM NOT FEEELING IT.
Sunburned has got a crazy like, dancehall shit
goin' on, like a Egyptian riddm like in that one N.O.R.E. song. Feeling
it.
I choose Sunburned to go on.
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Our next judge is a very busy man. When he's not recording as part of such hot acts as The Blithe Sons or The Franciscan Hobbies or killing them with his solo act The Birdtree, he's helping operate The Jewelled Antler empire. Let's hear it for GLENN DONALDSON!!!!!!!!!!
Glenn, which finalist do you think should move on to Round 3?
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Jennifer Gentle, this could be the name of a porn star, Donovan’s old girlfriend, or one of
those bubblegum-pop songs by 1910 Fruitgum Co. or The Archies that contain
thinly veiled references to sex with underage girls or drugs. What you
really get is some Italians playing Van Dyke Parks "Song Cycle" type stuff
mixed with Strapping Fieldhands-type fucked psych-pop... kinda shrill &
hyperactive chord-changes with lots of echo. I dig it.
Sunburned Hand of the Man, I had fun watching these folks live, so I’m a bit biased. The longhair guys
down at the drum circle must have heard some arty-guys playing CAN records
real loud and said, "Shit, man that’s way out," so they all shook hands,
got
high, and formed a band. This idea makes me so happy. Reminds me of my Santa
Cruz days... freeform kraut rock with some budget Parliament thrown in.
Hair Police, I know nothing about this band. Maybe they listen to those great old
Cabaret
Voltaire records or those Devo-4-track demos, or maybe they started playing
this shit just to weird-out their family and friends. Whatever their story
is, this track rules. That monolithic chugging riff (guitar? a distorted
drum? I can’t tell) is what does it for me.
I pick Hair Police to go on.
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Well, I guess you know what that means. I'm sorry Jennifer Gentle, but they sent you home.
Round 3: WADE DECIDES!!!!
This is a tough choice. They were both good competitors, but I gotta go with the one that had that presence, that connected with the audience, and really had the crowd going... Sunburned Hand of the Man, you're going on to the Semifinals!
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