My Life With the Star No Star

The Star No Star is a glamorous and infamous rough and tumble three piece from the ass end of the Great Salt Lake. Jake "Suave" Suazo on bass and vocals--whose family name carries the notoriety of both a state congressman and well-known methamphetamine manufacturer--Ned "Wet the Bed" Clayton on guitar, harmonies, keys and violin--grandfather and sage of the SLHC scene, and, by extension, Provo--and Chris "the drummer" Purdie--simply the best drummer in the entire Intermountain West (they also have a second guitar player, Justin "Kick My Lame Ass Out" Barlow, but, hopefully, that problem will soon be resolved). Their sound is a delirious mix of post-punk and circus music, but with rock and roll guitars and without hurdy gurdies. One can hear the influence of Fugazi, Sergio Mendes, and the Boredoms. They can play it smooth or they can turn up the heat. But no matter what they do, they are always cooking with gas.

The first night that I saw the Star No Star (not the first time I have ever seen them, by the way, but the first of this extended period) exemplifies what makes the Star No Star exceptional from many live acts. The first band up was a newly formed group called Eye, made up of a couple scenesters who had been kicking around in various bands for several years, none of which really had any longevity and consistency. Eye played a tedious set of samish songs, built around a loud and ugly bass, strange and pretty guitar, the exact same awkward drum beat and some horrible high-pitched moaning vocals. They were both inept and pretentious, terribly serious and seriously terrible. Contrast that experience with the Star No Star, full of energy, noise and, long absent from underground music, fun. The Star No Star play music. Music is entertainment. Entertainment is fun. If you want headaches and boredom, why not just stay at work and not bother going to the club?

The Star No Star wants to have fun. They want you to have fun. Jake Suazo, the focal point of the group, is a born performer and he attracts the gaze. He places his not inconsiderable girth front and center and rocks his bass. Further, Jake does not just sing, he croons, swoons, bellows and lets it all loose, sounding frequently like an old timey vaudeville singer (sans the floor-length raccoon coat and megaphone). So as to keep everybody aware that it is not just about the Star No Star, but that there is a paying audience to be sated, he frequently interacts with the crowd, whether soliciting pain-killers, taking requests, commenting favorably on audience member's dance styles, or sharing bites of a frozen yogurt.

From one song to the next, its never quite clear what you are going to get. And not that each of their songs is so wholly original, its more that no one really has a predetermined plan. The set list is constantly in flux based on band whim or audience suggestion. Depending on which song is played, the band may be as tight as an accountant's ass or as out of control as a train wreck. One constant, however, is every time they play the reflective "The Only Headache," they will follow it up with the raging, one-chord "Ohio Song." And, generally, you can count on them playing their signature tune "To Feel at Home on Fire."

This is a special song and, I believe, the very first the Star No Star song. A couple of years ago I heard Jake play it on his bass in his basement while he and Ned sang ("doodle doodle doodle doodle doodility doot doot doot") what eventually became the guitar line. Much of what the Star No Star does can be found in this song. Jake croons in a grandiose voice, comparing crazy home life to a plane being shot down in flames. Sound hilarious? Well, maybe not. But when you mix it up with what may be the goofiest guitar lick in all of rock music, a crazily bouncing bass line, and, man Jake's delivery, it becomes so bizarrely comic that the depressing undertones are blunted.

The Star No Star wants to be the best band in the world, but they may be too smart to fully realize that goal. They skillfully write great tunes which can be simultaneously catchy and rocking. The can turn it up and they can bring it back down. And they want to be tight, all of the time. However, they know its only rock and roll. And although they like it, they can never get past that first part, that people want to dance and have a good time and that the Star No Star wants to dance and have a good time, too. I doubt that they will ever be able to take themselves seriously enough to be as pro as maybe they want to be.

But who cares? I don't. By being what they are, the Star No Star have already won. I hope that I will soon forget having seen Eye, but I will never forget how that last the Star No Star set ended. After Jake broke a string, there had been an extended "discussion" between Ned and Jake about whether Jake's intro to a particular song, being played only on three strings, was correct. They finally concluded that it didn't really matter how the intro went, as long as when they got to the part where they all come in, Jake played the correct notes then. So after that happened, the song collapsed into a musical melee resulting the Jake forcibly removing the remaining three strings from his guitar. Everyone who left that show, left smiling with a kind word for the Star No Star. The Star No Star wins!