Tom and Adam's NFL Picks — Week 8

Last week: Adam 9-5, Tom 8-6.

Another week, another round of NFL picks. We send these back and forth to each other and put in our stupid comments, and then send them to Jim. And then Jim sends it to Daron and asks "Should I actually run this?" and Daron says "No." But then he runs it anyway, and we clog some more bandwidth.

Here are our picks:

Detroit at Chicago

I keep flip-flopping on this one. It's a battle of two loser 1-5 teams for the bottom for the NFC North - hmmm, I'm gonna pick Detroit. In recent trends, the Lions have been majorly sucky, while the Bears have been less sucky than before. But the Lions need to win a road game to break the streak, and this would be a good chance for them to get it. Prediction: Detroit

I, on the other hand, think the Bears will win this game. They came close against Seattle, and I think starting Chris Chandler is the way to go for this team. I like the Lions, I really do, but I have to pick the Bears. Prediction: Chicago

Seattle at Cincinnati

After a close call against the Bears last week, Seattle enters this game with some pressure to prove that they're the real thing in Cincinnati. Though the Bengals seem to be a trendy pick this week, I'm flying in the face of the trend. Just as I eschew white belts, I'm going with Seattle over the Bengals. Everyone who's saying that this is the week that the Seahwaks are unmasked as a mediocre team is wrong. They probably also like the Strokes, and this is wrong, too. Prediction: Seattle

I agree, and I know it's boring when we agree because then our picks are the same and there's no Tom/Adam conflict, which is why our three readers keep reading. But I still think Seattle is one of the best teams in the NFC - they just need to find their footing again. Prediction: Seattle

New York Giants at Minnesota

The official line is that the Vikings "have" it and the Giants have "lost" it. What ever "it" is, the bottom line is that the Giants are coached by a mean-looking guy named Jim, and the Vikings are coached by an underpaid thuggish looking dude named Mike. And in my world, you know that Mikes always beat Jims. Prediction: Minnesota

Yeah. The Vikings win this one, no problem. It sort of hurts me to be this confident about the Vikings, as I've always been of the mind that they're destined to underachieve, but I think this team could go pretty deep into the playoffs. Some thick-headed jock named Zach that I went to hgh school with is probably pretty happy about this. I forgot about that guy until just now. He's probably using steroids now, and shaving his head. Prediction: Minnesota

Cleveland at New England

A few weeks ago, this would have been a tough pick, as Cleveland's newfound offensive prowess had them looking like a team who could do some real damage. Now, just a short time later, Tim Couch is back to being booed, and William Green has faded back into the background. The Patriots are boring to me, but they seem capable of putting this one away. Groan. I wouldn't watch this game for $100. Prediction: New England

Again, I agree. New England, as much as I want them to fail, have been doing well and I don't see anything changing here. Prediction: New England

Carolina at New Orleans

Carolina finally lost a game last week, as Adam and I correctly predicted. Here, they go to New Orleans to play a team that is hot off their 45 point score from last week. Of course, this was against the decimated Atlanta defense. For some reason, Yahoo is saying that New Orleans is the favorite here. I don't understand that, but I'm glad because I enjoy picking "underdogs". Prediction: Carolina

Yeah, why are the Saints the favorites? That's almost as absurd as the Steelers being favorites against the Rams... New Orleans stink. Last week, they beat a team who stinks. This week, they play a team who definitely doesn't stink. That's pretty much all you need to know. A writer like Andy might regale you with big words and in-depth analysis here, but I'm going to be strightforward and to the point. I know you'll appreciate it. Prediction: Carolina

St. Louis at Pittsburgh

Well, the Steelers are 2-4 and well on their way to an 8-8 record. People seem to still believe in them, though they'll have to improve greatly to gain respect in my eyes. I really didn't figure I'd be this apathetic about the Steelers season this soon in. It's too bad the Rams will win this, because it's the 1,000th game in Steelers history. Prediction: St. Louis

The Steelers offensive line is a disaster. They have guards playing tackles, and second stringers starting who totally aren't right for the position. This helps to explain the terrible running game. But I think the Steelers will lose because their pass defense is not going to be able to handle Marc Bulger. Prediction: St. Louis

Dallas at Tampa Bay

Tampa Bay has been struggling and the Cowboys have been thriving. I guess coaching is more important than we all realize, as Parcells has turned a very mediocre team into the kings of the NFC East. But this will be the real test. So far, the Cowboys have played teams with weakened defenses that have allowed them to explode. Can they hold up against the Bucs defense, even though it's struggling? Prediction: Tampa Bay

Yeah, as much as I enjoy the Bucs being 3-3, I think they'll win this. The Cowboys are looking good, but I don't think they're half as good as they've played recently, and this is the week they realize it. I'm predicting a big game for Brad Johnson, that Warren Sapp will say somehting stupid, and Bill Parcells will look bad wearing something that's just a little to snug around the tummy. Prediction: Tampa Bay

Tennessee at Jacksonville

This one won't even be close. Seriously, do I even need to write anything? Jim will print this anyway. I bet he doesn't even read it. We could write things about cricket or TV, and Jim wouldn't even know. In fact, we could probably tell all of Jim's secrets right here, under the guise of football picks, and he'd never know. Here's juicy scoop #1: Jim Steed's middle name is Allison. You heard it here first, kids. Prediction: Tennessee

Juicy scoop #2: Jim once harbored an alien in his shed - not an immigrant, but an actual alien from outer space. The government never found out. The little fucker ran away one day after Jim had prepared a really nice birthday party for it. Prediction: Tennessee

Denver at Baltimore

So the Broncos have their 80th string quarterback in for the next few weeks, and are facing a tough Baltimore defense. Luckily, Kyle Boller isn't playing much better than an 80th string QB, and the Denver D should be okay. It'll be a low scoring affair, with lots of incomplete passes. I saw that the ESPN uniform tournament was rigged, and some guy has been voting for the Broncos something like 70,000 times each round, so they were disqualified. Phew. I couldn't believe people liked those uniforms so much. My faith in humanity is restored. Prediction: Denver

Finally, we disagree! Baltimore should be able to hold off the Broncos, who are a talented team but not one I think can win with Danny Kannell. Prediction: Baltimore

San Francisco at Arizona

Even though San Francisco sorta sucks, this is probably my most confident pick of the week. Which means, of course, that Jeff Blake will probably throw for 500 yards to teach me a lesson about football. But I gotta go with intuition. Prediction: San Francisco

Don't worry, Tom. The 49ers will win this one, and the Cardinals will lose. Arizona stinks, and I'm glad people are finally looking past that big week 1 performance and realizing this. The 49ers aren't a legitimate Super Bowl pick, but, against the Cards, you don't need to be. Prediction: San Francisco

Houston at Indianapolis

Indianapolis has the league's most explosive offense right now, and it's hard not to pick them in almost any game. They might be able to come back from a 75 point defecit in the fourth quarter against the 85 Bears they way they're playing right now. I can only hope that soon, someone realizes that God has been unfairly using his Marvin Harrison and Peyton Manning Madden cards week after week, and using some saving loophole to make them available each week. I read somewhere how you can do that, and you know God's good using the internet to find the things he needs. I'm not sure what search engine he uses, but I bet it's Google. Prediction: Indianapolis

I don't believe in God but I believe in Peyton Manning, though I don't know if I believe that he can win the big games. Luckily, this isn't a big game. Prediction: Indianapolis

New York Jets at Philadelphia

I watched the Eagles accidentally beat the Giants last week. It was sad. I really had my hopes up for the Eagles this year, and they are currently racing the Steelers for the title of Biggest NFL Disappointment. While the Giants lost last week, it was really a moral victory for them. I'll take the win for the Eagles, because Jim gets extra grouchy when they lose, but I really hope I see an improvement this week. Chad Pennington is gonna be back, which has me fairly excited. Will he be rusty? Will he succeed without Coles as his go-to receiver? I'm taking the Jets by a hair. Prediction: New York

The Eagles aren't racing the Steelers for that title, they're way out in front by about six lengths. That said, I think they'll win this week, because New York just can't win three in a row. It just won't happen. I even like the Jets. Chad Pennington will play, but he won't start. I don't care. Prediction: Philadelphia

Buffalo at Kansas City

I'd love to see Buffalo win this game. Kansas City isn't allowed to go undefeated, and I'd rather see Buffalo end their streak than a group of 72 Dolphins with iron bars in a dark alley. I don't think they'll do it, though, because Kansas City will eat the on/off/on/off Bills defense for lunch. Chiefs against Minnesota on Dec. 20 should be a good game. Prediction: Kansas City

Yeah, how awesome will it be if the Chiefs and Vikings are still undefeated in December? And then they rematch in the Super Bowl? I guess that would be awesome. At this point I don't know who I'd pick, probably the Vikings. But when the Chiefs turn on, they can be scary. Prediction: Kansas City

Miami at San Diego

Well, I picked San Diego last week, and, finally, got retribution. My faith in the team finally paid off. What do I do now? Well, of course, I quit while I'm ahead and pick Miami. If Jay Fiedler can't go, Brian Griese gets to play, and he just might not give Fiedler's styarting job back if he does well enough. Ricky Williams, though, will be the star of the game. I can't wait until he's so beat up in December that Miami tanks their last few games. That will be funny. Prediction: Miami

A Monday night game that should be fairly dull. I guess the drama here is Junior Seau returning to play against his old teammates. I don't think that San Diego will win two in a row, so goddamit, I'm agreeing with Adam yet again. Prediction: Miami