Tom and Adam's NFL Picks — Week 7

Here are our picks:

Baltimore at Cincinnati

I'm still thinking that the Bengals are better than they get credit for, but I'm not sure they'll be able to win this game. The Ravens should be able to ride Jamal Lewis to victory, much like used to try to do to Corey Dillon. It's too bad no one ever really trades in the NFL, because I heard there were some good offers made for Dillon by more than one team. Prediction: Baltimore

I was thinking of driving out to Cincinnati for Halloween, but I'd have to be back the next day for a wedding and I sorta want to take it easy. Maybe I'll go next weekend instead. I definitely can't go this weekend, so the Bengals won't have my in-city presence to help them win. Sorry, Marvin. Prediction: Baltimore

Dallas at Detroit

For some reason I was thinking that this game would be a nailbiter. I really like Detroit and want to see them do well, and I want them to prove that Dallas' unexpected success is just luck. Detroit rarely wins, but when they do, it's at home, so let's hope they can do it again. Prediction: Detroit

I keep picking against Dallas, and keeping being punished for it, so, even though I don't think that they're that good, don't think they'll keep it up, and don't think they're a lock for the playoffs, I guess I'll pick the Cowboys. Crap. Maybe Bill Parcells will suddenly retire, and Quincy Carter will stop overachieving, and an end can be put to this mess. Prediction: Dallas

Denver at Minnesota

This should be a great game. I hope my CBS or FOX affiliate shows it on TV instead of something crappy, but chances are they will choose to show Atlanta/New Orleans instead. My only hope will be to see the highlight clips, and something tells me that Steve Beurlein isn't gonna be in any of them unless he's throwing interceptions. Prediction: Minnesota

Tom is right, this should be a good game. Unfortunately, since Jake Plummer can't seem to get off of the couch without injuring himself, it won't be as good as it might have been. I think having Mr. Beurlein as the starting QB for four more weeks could really hurt Denver, as well as Ashley Lelie in one of my fantasy leagues. Minnesota continue to prove to me that maybe they are the real thing. If Michael Bennett comes back and hits his stride, watch out!Prediction: Minnesota

Green Bay at St. Louis

St. Louis were DEVASTATING last week. I realize they were playing Atlanta, which is sorta like if Jim Steed and I had a table tennis matchup, but 36-0 is a hell of a score. Last year, the other Adam (our Scottish friend) declared before some forgettable Steelers game that the score would be 36-0, and we decided such a score was extremely unlikely. But the Rams have done it, and thus they are forever enshrined in my idiosyncratic personal football hall of fame. Now, Rams/Packers - this is also gonna be a good matchup. Both of these teams I think are pretty similar. Big, powerful offenses led by a commanding QB, solid receiving corps and a brilliant RB; defenses that are not flashy but get the job done. This is a game that's really too close to call. Is Marshall Faulk back? If so, will he be ready to run right into Nick Barnett? Will they be better off sticking with Gordon until they're sure Faulk is 100%? So many questions, so few answers - I'm gonna just flip a coin to make my pick. Prediction: St. Louis

This will be the game of the week, I think. The Rams are looking like the team they were a few years ago, and the Packers continue be a better team than their record shows. Though the Pack have better uniforms, I think St. Louis will burn them all afternoon playing on the artificial surface. Plus, the Packers may get brush burns on their joints because of the carpet. I HATE indoor football. I hope the Packers win, but I don't think they will. Prediction: St. Louis

New England at Miami

I don't like having to pick a winner for this game. It seems as though Miami should win, but New England tends to pull games out when they shouldn't. I'm staying with Miami, maybe because a coworker swears they're going to go 15-1. I doubt it, but maybe. She's also the one that rates NFL players by how cute they are, so maybe I shouldn't follow her logic... Prediction: Miami

I rate NFL players by a similar. yet more arcane system that factors in their appearance, name, and facemask style before looking at stupid things like "performance" and "numbers". Your coworker is actually right! While Ricky Williams is a very lowly ranked NFL player (losing major points for the dreadlocks and boring last name "Williams"), Jay Fiedler wins major points. Why? Well, because his name is Fiedler, not Fielder, which is neat and confusing. Also, I hate the Patriots so all of their players are ranked low, even though one is named 'Cloud' and that is a cool name. What are we left with? A Miami victory. Prediction: Miami

New Orleans at Atlanta

This get my vote for weekly "Who cares?" of the week. Actually, these games between playoff nohopes probably have some major effect on important football business, like the fly in America's whose beating wings cause earthquakes in China. I guess I'll take Atlanta, cause they probably feel like winning after last week. Prediction: Atlanta

Wow. What a stinker. New Orleans has an amazing amount of talent so far this season, and things are so bad in Atlanta, they're starting their third-string QB this week. The ugly new uniforms can explain the problems in Atlanta (don't even mention that Vick guy), but I don't know why the Saints stink so much. Prediction: New Orleans

Philadelphia at New York Giants

I think I've picked the Eagles every week so far this year, and I don't really see a reason not to. It will be close, and the winner of this game will have some major divisional pull - let's just hope one of these teams can knock the Cowboys out of the running. There should be a rule that all teams in the same division have to be in the same time zone. Prediction: Philadelphia

This is a close one for me, or was, at least. I think that the tug that Tom feels towards picking the Eagles each week is the quickly dying Super Bowl hype that surrounded them at the beginning of the season...or maybe just some editorial "suggestions" from Mr. Steed. Either way, I think the Giants win this game. I can't offer any great reasons, except for the fact that the Eagles haven't proven to me that they "want it." Experts always say football teams need to "want it." Prediction: New York

San Diego at Cleveland

Tom and I continue to pick the Chargers like forlorn lovers pining for past girlfriends now gone. Since we're such winners, I'm picking the Chargers again. There's just no way they'll continue to lose...that is, of course, unless the Browns score more points. The only good thing about this whole Browns winning streak is that maybe Tim Couch can retain the starting job when Kelly Holcomb comes back, and they can mire themselves in about three more years' worth of quarterback arguments. Prediction: Chargers

Adam, we ARE forlorn lovers pining for past girlfriends now gone. I also pine for my preseason fantasy of the Chargers as a dominant force in the AFC West. Maybe this fantasy overlooked the fact that their defense still sucks. Prediction: San Diego

Tennessee at Carolina

If anyone is going to break Carolina's annoying winning streak, it's gotta be Steve McNair. Carolina has worked hard and been lucky enough to persevere with an average offense and phenomenal defense -- but the streak is gonna end this weekend. Prediction: Tennessee

This was another tough one to decide. I like Carolina, and don't think their great start has been a fluke, but I'm not confident enough to pick them this week. The Titans seem to stick around almost every year, and could easily make the AFC Championship game this year, even with an aging Eddie George and less than exciting WR corps. Damn Steve McNair, for his uncanny ability to win games.Prediction: Tennessee

New York Jets at Houston

The Jets surprised everyone last week with a pretty solid win over Buffalo. Houston has surprised no one by losing consistently since their week one win. The Jets should win this one, too, only beacuse last week should instill some confidence in Vinny and Curtis, and Houston will need to rely on getting lucky to win. Ask Daron, it's never smart to rely too much on getting lucky... Prediction: New York

Adam, you're a fool. The Jets are a mess. Curtis Martin doesn't have any life left in those legs. Their win last week was nice but not indicative of a change in direction. If I'm right, you have to play our next game of Madden with the controller tied behind your back! Prediction: Houston

Chicago at Seattle

Um, Seattle. Prediction: Seattle

Yeah, this is a stinker. The Bears got lucky once, and will probably do so a few more time this season, but not this week. The Kordell era is officially over, but we'll have to wait a few more weeks before Rex Grossman gets his chance. Maybe Chris Chandler will get hurt in the first quarter, and Grossman can come in right away. Maybe Seattle will control the game so much that Chicago barely plays offense. The Bears need a miracle to win this one. Prediction: Seattle

Tampa at San Francisco

Madden (the person, not the video game) announced on Monday Night Football the other week that he thought the Bucs' defense was the third best in the history of the NFL, after the 70's Steelers and the 85 Bears. A bold claim? I dunno, it is a really damn good defense, and one that other teams are modeling themselves after. Even if, say, Carolina's defense is "better", the Bucs will be the one who are remembered. Prediction: Tampa Bay

It warms my heart to see the 49ers lose, I just wish Joe Montana could be on the field when they do it. Tampa's got little to worry about here, because the SF offense isn't half as good as the Colts', and their defense won't be stopping the Bucs too often. Terrell Owens, though, will start turning it up soon, since he's free agent after this year and probably really likes money. Prediction: Tampa Bay

Washington at Buffalo

I really, really hate to do this, but I'm picking Washington. I know, I know, I was all about the Bills a few weeks ago, talking about how they were the real deal, etc. But, I really don't see them winning this week. I hope they do, but it just won't happen. I feel dejected about this. And I really don't like Steve Spurrier as an NFL coach. Stupid Redskins. If they make the playoffs, I'll do something rash, like getting all of my reviews to Jim on time. Prediction: Washington

I'm gonna pick Buffalo, because they have the talent to beat this team. So beat them already!! Buffalo has hit a slump ever since losing to the Dolphins on Monday Night. I don't understand it - could it be the coaching? Maybe the Bills should get a coach with a sensible name like Bill or Mike. Prediction: Buffalo

Kansas City at Oakland

A coworker of mine makes picks, she says, depeinding on the teams' uniform colors. I don't believe her, but she's won the office pool two weeks in a row, so maybe I should listen. Silver and black, though, kill red and yellow, so I won't use her theory here. Or in games involving Seattle, because I'd never pick them. Besides, what do you do if two teams with similar color patterns play each other? Go by the color of their socks? Prediction: Kansas City

Socks are important, and so are sacks. I predict that Kansas City will have more sacks than Oakland. I also predict that they'll have more touchdowns, rushing yards, time of possession, first downs, and - yes - points. Prediction: Kansas City